Healing the trauma within

"It was a night filled with friends and laughter. We were all telling jokes and having a good time, enjoying each other's company. I was laughing at a joke I had just told, when suddenly, it felt as if I had just taken a blow to my stomach. There it was again, taking my breath away and taking me to a place of despair."

I couldn't understand the deep sadness that I would feel often. It would hit me out of nowhere, it seemed. I could have been enjoying myself and having a good time, but then I would feel a deep sorrow coming from deep within. I understand now that part of me chose to die long before I even realized that there was pain and sorrow inside of me. As a child, I would see things in people that others usually couldn't see, but when it came to discerning the root cause of my pain, I was blinded.

They say, "Time heals all wounds," and that's just as superficial as the words on my skin. I tattooed those words on my skin, in high hopes that it would be a reminder to me when the sorrow would strike again and that eventually that day would come. Those words didn't heal me or even ease my pain. No, time didn't heal my wounds. It just gave me more time to find new ways to numb myself. I tried almost everything that the world could offer me to heal... Alcohol, party life, drugs, you name it, and that, my friends, only left me feeling more alone. It all was superficial.

If you are wondering if there would ever come a time in your life when you will genuinely heal, I'm here to tell you, yes, but here's the "but," but only through Jesus. We were never meant to be separated from God. He created us to be in close fellowship with Him, and without God, we cannot truly heal the voids and hurts within ourselves. It's like trying to take a part of who we are out of our DNA. There's true hope and there's also false hope, but I'm here to give you the real hope. Jesus heals the brokenhearted and He sets the captives free.

If you've tried it all, then at this point you don't have anything to lose. Jesus is the way, and He won't just heal surface-level wounds. He will heal the deepest, darkest places in your soul. Go to the one who knew pain and chose to take that all on the cross. Scripture says that He was a man of many sorrows; He understands you more than anyone in this world. You matter, your pain matters, choose Jesus. Here's the real hope. He's the truth and the Life. Hold on to these words. Believe them. Accept Jesus into your heart, and if you have already, believe His words and ask Him to do the deep work within you.

Ps. Message me, I would love to pray with you if this has ministered to you.

Isaiah 61:1-3 TPT

1] The mighty Spirit of Lord Yahweh is wrapped around me because Yahweh has anointed me, as a messenger to preach good news to the poor. He sent me to heal the wounds of the brokenhearted, to tell captives, “You are free,” and to tell prisoners, “Be free from your darkness.” [2] I am sent to announce a new season of Yahweh’s grace and a time of God’s recompense on his enemies, to comfort all who are in sorrow, [3] to strengthen those crushed by despair who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful bouquet in the place of ashes, the oil of bliss instead of tears, and the mantle of joyous praise instead of the spirit of heaviness. Because of this, they will be known as Mighty Oaks of Righteousness, planted by Yahweh as a living display of his glory.

https://bible.com/bible/1849/isa.61.1-5.TPT